Anxiety: Why Small Decisions Can Feel So Exhausting

Have you ever spent way too much time trying to decide what you want for dinner?

You look at a few options, rule them out, reconsider them, ask someone else what they think, and somehow you're still no closer to making a decision. Eventually, you get frustrated and say, "I don't care. You pick."

It seems like such a small thing. But when you're dealing with anxiety, even simple decisions can take a surprising amount of energy.

I see this quite a bit with people who struggle with anxiety. It isn't that they don't know how to make decisions. It's everything their mind does around the decision that wears them out.

Instead of making a choice and moving on, the mind starts looking for everything that could go wrong.

What if I pick the wrong thing? What if I regret it? What if someone else doesn't like my decision? Am I forgetting something? Maybe I should wait. Maybe I need more information.

A decision that should have taken two minutes has now occupied your mind for half an hour.

And when this happens over and over throughout the day, it's exhausting.

Anxiety Wants Certainty

Anxiety has a way of convincing us that if we think about something long enough, we'll eventually reach a point where we're completely comfortable with our decision.

Usually, we don't.

You can research another option. Read another review. Ask another person what they would do. Run through the possibilities one more time.

There's always another "what if."

That's because the real problem often isn't the decision itself. It's the discomfort of not knowing for certain how the decision will turn out.

Most of us would love certainty, but life doesn't offer much of it. At some point, we have to make a decision with the information we have and accept that we can't control every possible outcome.

For someone struggling with anxiety, that can be much harder than it sounds.

Not Every Decision Deserves the Same Amount of Energy

Think about how many decisions you make during an average day.

What am I wearing? When should I leave? Should I answer this email now? Do I need to call them back? What should I eat? Should I go to that event?

Then there are the decisions you've already made.

Did I say the wrong thing? Should I have handled that differently? What did they mean by that? Should I have said something else?

Now imagine mentally reviewing many of those decisions two, three, or ten times.

By the end of the day, you're tired.

Sometimes people describe themselves as "bad at making decisions" when that's not really what's happening. They're spending too much mental energy trying to guarantee they'll make the right decision.

There's a difference.

Sometimes Good Enough Really Is Good Enough

Some decisions deserve careful thought. Major financial decisions, medical decisions, career changes, and relationship decisions aren't things we should rush through.

But deciding what restaurant to go to Friday night probably doesn't require the same level of analysis.

One question I encourage people to consider is:

How much will this decision actually matter a week from now?

If the answer is "probably not much," it may not deserve another 30 minutes of your mental energy.

Make a reasonable choice and see what happens.

If it isn't perfect, you'll deal with it.

That last part is important. Anxiety has a way of making us underestimate our ability to handle an outcome we don't like. We can become so focused on preventing anything uncomfortable from happening that we forget we're actually pretty capable of dealing with things when they do.

You Don't Have to Feel Certain Before You Decide

This is often one of the harder things to accept.

You don't have to wait until you feel completely comfortable before making a choice.

You can be 80% sure and decide anyway. Sometimes you can be 60% sure.

You can choose something and later realize another option might have been better. You can change your mind. You can make a mistake.

And you'll deal with it.

The goal isn't to become careless or impulsive. It's to stop requiring certainty before allowing yourself to move forward.

The more you practice making reasonable decisions without demanding complete reassurance from yourself, the less power anxiety has over the process.

It takes practice, but it can get easier.

When Anxiety Starts Taking Up Too Much Space

If this sounds familiar, you may notice the same pattern in other parts of your life.

Maybe you replay conversations long after they're over. You worry about decisions you've already made. You ask other people what they think even though you already have a pretty good idea of what you want to do. Or you put off making decisions because you're afraid you'll choose incorrectly.

At that point, continually trying to solve each individual worry usually isn't the answer. It may be more helpful to look at the anxiety that's driving the pattern.

At Lemon Bay Mental Wellness Center, we work with people who are tired of anxiety and overthinking taking up so much of their mental energy. Our approach to anxiety counseling is practical, straightforward, and focused on helping you understand what's keeping the cycle going and what you can do differently.

We provide in-person counseling in Englewood, Florida, and work with clients from Venice, Port Charlotte, North Port, Rotonda West, and surrounding communities. Telehealth counseling is also available for clients throughout Florida and Tennessee.

You don't have to wait until anxiety becomes unbearable before doing something about it.

If anxiety is making everyday life more exhausting than it needs to be, schedule a free 20-minute consultation. We can talk about what's going on and whether counseling at Lemon Bay Mental Wellness Center feels like the right fit.